Monday, September 7, 2009


Circa 1992
That's our Papang. This was when he arrived from the US of A to visit my Mamang and Ate. He set his new camera on timer. That's why he looked so surprised. Photo scanned by Extrachunky.

"Chaaarm.....Chaaarms.....Sweetheart!" goes my wake-up call. After a 10 month long job at sea, my Papang used to wake me up early in the morning to have breakfast with him. His favorite was kinilaw and so is mine. It may be odd for others that that's what for breakfast. He said breakfast is the best to have that food because morning is when you get the freshest fish.

Often my Papa and I went for a walk very very early in the morning at the airport. Walking to and fro in the runway and we did trivia games. Geography was our favorite. He asked the country and I gave him its capital or vice versa. But no relationship is perfect. We laughed. We cried. We fought. We don't see each other for days. I ran away. After our disagreements, we hugged, kissed and made up. At some point, I hated him for hurting me... and those were times I didn't like him calling me "Charms". During those last months of his life, he got much sweeter than ever and we got so much closer again ...way too closer this time. On that very day before he went away while he was in the hospital, I begged so hard to God not to take him away from me. Not just yet. I wasn't ready. I can't imagine life without him. But I can't stop God's plan. I can not question His decision. Papang went to his eternal place on April 16th 4 years ago. It took time for me to realize and sink to my mind and heart that he is gone. He is forever gone.

I remember now when those times I loathed him for calling me "Charms". Oh! How much I cringed when he calls me that pet name lovingly. I just hated it. But now, I miss it. I miss it so much. I miss his wake up call. I just simply miss him.

The song sang by the Everly Brothers, All I Have To Do Is Dream used to be the song he loved to dance with me. I wish it can still happen. Not maybe physically but I'll dance with him in my dreams.

"'pang, I miss you. I'll dance with you again in my dreams. I love you."

Everly Brothers - All I have to do is Dream 1972

(Released 1958)

Dream dream dream dream
Dream dream dream dream
when I want you in my arms
when I want you and all your charms
whenever I want you
All I have to do is dream

Dream dream dream
when I feel blue in the night
and I need you to hold me tight
whenever I want you all
I have to do is dream

I can make you mine
taste your lips of wine
any time night or day
only trouble is gee whiz
I'm dreaming my life away

I need you so that I could die
I love you so and that is why
whenever I want you
all I have to do is dream
dream dream dream dream
dream dream dream dream



  1. Me too... The last time we talked, he says not to worry for him anymore. Never thought those were his goodbye...

    1. He asked for a grandchild kay basin dle na daw cya kaabot. :(

    2. But one thing that scared me was when he told me 10 years before he died that he want to die when he will hit 65yrs old. Isn't it weird?

    3. he also mentioned nga he's gonna die on his 60's according to the "napta" horoscope .